Crime Rates Soar in London as “The Thin Blue Waist-line” gets bigger
London’s Bobbies have been taking time off the beat to enjoy RobsandSean’s new range of KiliScones and it appears the criminal underbelly of London is rejoicing at this news. Following official endorsement by the Met’s Directorate of Information police officer waist-lines have been getting appreciably larger, leading to fewer successful chase and arrests.
The Met have even had to start issuing ASBOs (Anti-Snacking Behaviour Orders) to their own officers, an event unparalleled in UK judicial history.
However, it seems as if the criminals’ reprieve will be short lived with an announcement today from RobsandSean’s Media Director Sean Doyle, “in response to the unintended side-effects of our scones’ popularity with the Boys in Blue we will be shortly releasing a new range of healthy cakes.
These new products will be packed full of healthy goodness and a unique chemical compound – Philanthropamon - which attacks the body’s lethar-gens and stimulates the production of activio-cites leading to, we hope, the healthiest police force in Europe”
Meanwhile RobsandSean business performance has not gone un-noticed in the political sphere; with their unique ability to create both Public and Private demand creating quite a stir in Whitehall. It is rumoured Business Secretary Vince Cable aims to meet with the firm’s directors to discuss recession proofing the economy.
He commented recently; “with the help of these luminaries, the chances of a “Double Dip” will be dramatically reduced; unless, that is, they decided to enter the Hobnob market”
Please don’t forget to make your donations to the website, link http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/RobandSeandoKili
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